Depression
DEPRESSED BUT NOT DEFEATED
"I felt the walls close in on me, my soul slowly embracing darkness, I was drowning in my fears. Nobody understood what I was going through; my friends drifted apart,they said I was mad. My family believed with time I would get better; little did they know that with each breath I took, I was dying inside. I could not process my thoughts; I forgot my purpose, I lost any sense of belonging. But the one thing I was sure of, was I became a stranger in my own body" Anonymous
Searching for happiness came with its own baggage. When my main purpose in life is to achieve, I expected perfection and I did not make reservations for the " what ifs". I refused to acknowledge and be realistic about life,and this led me to this darkness called Depression
When we feel a little low or sad, we don't consider it as depression. Honey let me tell you something; that's definitely a start and that's when you have to rein it in before it's an RIP for you. Yup, depression can send you to rehab, a mental institute and believe me when i say to your coffin. But when we accept the fact that Life comes with its ups and downs, then that's a start. Oh, you want a job? Be prepared for rejection. You want love? Honey, don't get me started on heart breaks. Any ways i digress, Not saying you should become a Debbie downer but when you accept that life is black and white themed and can either go good or bad, then you are ready for the journey.
Depression can hit you from all angles; Based on experiences, it could hit you from neglect, bereavement, financial setbacks, mental, sexual or physical abuse, bullying, social rejection, jealousy, peer pressure, heart break and the list goes on and on. Talk about heart wrenching stories. I remember having my fair share in 2015. Being a fresh graduate from the University of Buea, I was ready to conquer the world. I am an intelligent and smart girl, i mean what are the odds? *laughs. I had a plan or rather i thought i did. I wanted to get into IRIC or ENAM; i needed to make my family proud. I was not my priority and that became my self made trap. Every time i tried to study, i felt no zeal.. Well fast forward, i failed everytime i thought i was close to getting through. I realized, that was not what i wanted to do and worse still, i never knew what i wanted or who i wanted to be. I remember my dad telling me"No amount of money can help you, you have to help yourself" Money can't buy happiness...right? In this state of limbo, thinking it could not get worse there was the breakup and I crashed.
One of the worst things in life is believing you have no purpose or you are not good enough. That was my problem; i knew deep down what i wanted, but i considered myself not intelligent enough to get it; I was scared to fail again I mean after so many failures and committing atrocities.. Who am I to be happy or successful.This fear consumed me inside.(dare I let that fear out to the world..i shed the tears when no one was looking)
Honey,you think you have no purpose, you think you are worthless, well let me tell you, this world would not be the same without you. " you are you, and that is your power". Your demon does not define you. So what if you had a 2/10 in a test. Don't you think a 10 is worth the stress. Work harder!! You want to be socially accepted, well no need to sweat it." Society does not define us, we define society" what ever setback you are going through should not be your killer. And as my favorite pastor, Rev Kenji says(God bless his soul) No condition is permanent.
It is okay to feel a little low sometimes, i know life is not always sunshine and rainbows. But please do not make depression your home.. We have to understand that failures or setbacks, no matter how painful they might be, they are one of the best teachers in life because sometimes we just have to sit in the dark to locate the light. Certain people have considered suicide the easy way out (I should know, I have played around with pills before) but do you think about your little girl growing up without a parent, what about Parents burying their child who took away his own life, can you imagine the trauma? You are stronger than any constraint life presents.
We are our own worst enemy and the scariest thing about recovering from depression is that, the only person who can help you is YOU. Learn to change your thought process and stop punishing or bullying yourself. We have all been to hell and back and i don't give a damn about your past but believe me when i say we would choose the same paths if we were given a second chance, cause lessons from a hard time are never forgotten. Don't get me wrong, depression is not a good thing!! But show me a successful person who has had an easy path. I'll wait.
If you are suffering from depression, darling don't feel guilty about that. It is no different from a flu or spraining an ankle. The only difference is, it deals with the mind. And like other illnesses, it has its remedies. I have the 4As to get you through; Apprehension, Acceptance, Action,and Appreciation.
Well, apprehension requires you to take a minute or break to process your thoughts, understand what is happening and why is it happening.
Accepting requires you to accept the fact that life is not always smooth and accepting you have a problem and need help.
Now what do you do about this problem? That's where action comes in. Try talking to friends or family. Don't suffer alone, there are people who have gone through the same and who understand. Music therapy works well too. I recommend "soul" and Gospel music. But if dancehall is your forte, baby whatever works for you. Groove to the beat and dance that depression away.
Sports is really good for the mind and it builds up your confidence and also boosts up your mentality.
sometimes a good vacation works magic; take a break from work. Might get you fired but your mental health is important. Go out with friends, surround yourself with family and my favorite go to the beach or just take a walk by the sea; it represents a great metaphor for life"rise and fall of waves"
admiring art works also helped me a lot. This helps you stretch your mind and you sometimes relate to the piece.
The last but most important A which is Appreciation; Appreciating life and thanking God for the strength to push on. Appreciating the present while waiting for a better future. God can't give you what you cannot handle.
For those who have never dealt with depression but you have a friend, relative or neighbor going through that, do not abandon them. Nobody is an island and we need each other in our good and bad times and all that we can give to each other is LOVE.
Now as I earlier said, depression is no different from other illnesses. Here are some symptoms:
- appetite changes
-lack of concentration
-feeling anxious,sad,empty
-feeling restless
-insomnia
-memory problems
-thoughts of suicide
N.B: Anti depressant pills do exist, but I recommend you see a doctor for a prescription if need be.
If you have battled depression, I am proud of you. I guess we are all proof of the famous saying "what does not kill you only makes you stronger"
This is dedicated to Tatsa Fabrice and all other victims who lost their life to depression.
"I felt the walls close in on me, my soul slowly embracing darkness, I was drowning in my fears. Nobody understood what I was going through; my friends drifted apart,they said I was mad. My family believed with time I would get better; little did they know that with each breath I took, I was dying inside. I could not process my thoughts; I forgot my purpose, I lost any sense of belonging. But the one thing I was sure of, was I became a stranger in my own body" Anonymous
Depression can hit you from all angles; Based on experiences, it could hit you from neglect, bereavement, financial setbacks, mental, sexual or physical abuse, bullying, social rejection, jealousy, peer pressure, heart break and the list goes on and on. Talk about heart wrenching stories. I remember having my fair share in 2015. Being a fresh graduate from the University of Buea, I was ready to conquer the world. I am an intelligent and smart girl, i mean what are the odds? *laughs. I had a plan or rather i thought i did. I wanted to get into IRIC or ENAM; i needed to make my family proud. I was not my priority and that became my self made trap. Every time i tried to study, i felt no zeal.. Well fast forward, i failed everytime i thought i was close to getting through. I realized, that was not what i wanted to do and worse still, i never knew what i wanted or who i wanted to be. I remember my dad telling me"No amount of money can help you, you have to help yourself" Money can't buy happiness...right? In this state of limbo, thinking it could not get worse there was the breakup and I crashed.
One of the worst things in life is believing you have no purpose or you are not good enough. That was my problem; i knew deep down what i wanted, but i considered myself not intelligent enough to get it; I was scared to fail again I mean after so many failures and committing atrocities.. Who am I to be happy or successful.This fear consumed me inside.(dare I let that fear out to the world..i shed the tears when no one was looking)
It is okay to feel a little low sometimes, i know life is not always sunshine and rainbows. But please do not make depression your home.. We have to understand that failures or setbacks, no matter how painful they might be, they are one of the best teachers in life because sometimes we just have to sit in the dark to locate the light. Certain people have considered suicide the easy way out (I should know, I have played around with pills before) but do you think about your little girl growing up without a parent, what about Parents burying their child who took away his own life, can you imagine the trauma? You are stronger than any constraint life presents.
We are our own worst enemy and the scariest thing about recovering from depression is that, the only person who can help you is YOU. Learn to change your thought process and stop punishing or bullying yourself. We have all been to hell and back and i don't give a damn about your past but believe me when i say we would choose the same paths if we were given a second chance, cause lessons from a hard time are never forgotten. Don't get me wrong, depression is not a good thing!! But show me a successful person who has had an easy path. I'll wait.
If you are suffering from depression, darling don't feel guilty about that. It is no different from a flu or spraining an ankle. The only difference is, it deals with the mind. And like other illnesses, it has its remedies. I have the 4As to get you through; Apprehension, Acceptance, Action,and Appreciation.
Well, apprehension requires you to take a minute or break to process your thoughts, understand what is happening and why is it happening.
Accepting requires you to accept the fact that life is not always smooth and accepting you have a problem and need help.
Now what do you do about this problem? That's where action comes in. Try talking to friends or family. Don't suffer alone, there are people who have gone through the same and who understand. Music therapy works well too. I recommend "soul" and Gospel music. But if dancehall is your forte, baby whatever works for you. Groove to the beat and dance that depression away.
Sports is really good for the mind and it builds up your confidence and also boosts up your mentality.
sometimes a good vacation works magic; take a break from work. Might get you fired but your mental health is important. Go out with friends, surround yourself with family and my favorite go to the beach or just take a walk by the sea; it represents a great metaphor for life"rise and fall of waves"
admiring art works also helped me a lot. This helps you stretch your mind and you sometimes relate to the piece.
The last but most important A which is Appreciation; Appreciating life and thanking God for the strength to push on. Appreciating the present while waiting for a better future. God can't give you what you cannot handle.
For those who have never dealt with depression but you have a friend, relative or neighbor going through that, do not abandon them. Nobody is an island and we need each other in our good and bad times and all that we can give to each other is LOVE.
Now as I earlier said, depression is no different from other illnesses. Here are some symptoms:
- appetite changes
-lack of concentration
-feeling anxious,sad,empty
-feeling restless
-insomnia
-memory problems
-thoughts of suicide
N.B: Anti depressant pills do exist, but I recommend you see a doctor for a prescription if need be.
If you have battled depression, I am proud of you. I guess we are all proof of the famous saying "what does not kill you only makes you stronger"
This is dedicated to Tatsa Fabrice and all other victims who lost their life to depression.
Here i was thinking I've never been in depression. But I can actually relate to a time wen I felt like everything n everyone was against me. I wanted to be ard a particular set of pipo n none of them were ard me or anywhr near me. I isolated myself from pipo ard me n cried all the time. Just like u said, depressed but not defeated. I got to accept the situation I was on n learnt to face every thx that came my way. I'm proud to say I never had suicide tots n pray never to have dem. Thanks Nita for ur words. They are motivating n encouraging. I appreciate. Keep up girl. We need more pipo like u.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you relate and more glad you took responsibility and got yourself together
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